On Cloud 9!

Boy has alot happened since the last time I wrote! First, my stepdaughter. We had our court hearing. She failed to show up as usual. The judge issued an arrest warrent for the state of Michigan. Her child support is now being escrowed. That means it will go into an account until she complies with the court order. We have permission to use law enforcement help to get Mackenzie for Christmas break. I cannot wait to see BB's face when we show up on her door step with the cops behind us and demand she give Mackenzie to us!

Second, we are pregnant! It finally happened and I am so happy. I am now 7 weeks along. I found out early in the morning on the 21st of November. I'm super tired and have minimal morning sickness which is awesome. So much better than being nautious 24/7 like I was with Andrew's and Nikolas's pregnancies. Erek has been a gem, letting me get my much needed sleep during this yucky first trimester. My first doc apt is January 9th. We should have an ultrasound then I believe.

Telling the families:
That turned out mostly well. My mom guessed right after we found out. I dunno how she did but then I got a lecture about how she believes in 0 population growth and I need to stop having babies and I'm going to kill our earth. Apparently because she believes in something I should too :S So since my mom knew I had to tell the rest of the family. We announced it at Thanksgiving with both families and everybody else took it well. I still haven't gotten a congratulations from my mom but whatever. She doesn't have to be an active member of this child's life if she's not going to think of this baby as a blessing.

Moving:
Dh got a job offer. It's an amazing one and we are moving to San Diego/LA area. He will be a personal poker dealer for Phil Laak, who is a professional poker player. I cannot wait to get away from my mother and the winters here in Michigan. I will miss everybody else and all of my friends, but I cannot wait to move. We are going to take a trip out there in January to scope out the area and learn some things like the better school districts and the better neighborhoods and hopefully look at some rental homes while we're out there. We plan to rent for a year or so and then either build or buy a home. That way we can learn of the area and schools before we put down permanent roots.

School:
Is not going well. I failed my class. Who puts me in a drawing class. I can hardly draw stick figures. Oh well. I'll take it again next semester and won't have to concentrate on the bookwork because I'll have it all comprehended. Then I can focus on the drawing part of the class and pass it. Looks like every class I take i'm gonna have to expect to take it twice, which is fine by me. A little more expensive that way but whatever. As long as I get my degree in the end.

Well I need to get busy cleaning this house. I am hosting my first Christmas Eve dinner. I hope to get the house cleaned and ready by the day before Christmas Eve so I don't have to worry about cleaning and cooking and wrapping presents.

Happy Halloween

Good morning readers! Today I woke up feeling well. My mom stopped by at about 9:30 and asked me why I didn't go to Andrew's school parade! Can you say guilt trip. I had just woken up and was playing with Nikolas. She told me, and I quote "you need to do it all." Is this lady for real. I so need to move away from this toxic relationship. Ever since then I've had a problem saying motivated. I don't know why I let her get to me. I know she says stuff that is going to bug me but yet I still take it personally. I wish I could do it all. I don't know why I can't. Oh wait I'm human right?! I will never be perfect! I will never get to do it all. She just stresses me out so bad, I want to cry. How does a person handle their mother saying these types of things? She's not perfect, far from it so why does she expect me to be. Haven't I proven my entire life that I'm the bad child?! So why would she still expect perfection! I can't handle it anymore. I will never be good enough for her. I thought a mother's love was suppose to be unconditional. Her's is critical.

I so hope I am not doing to my children, what she has done to me. I know my children aren't perfect but they are perfect in my heart. They are the sweetest, most loving and lively little boys you will ever meet. They still have that sparkle in their eyes when they laugh, play and cry. I know they will grow into great men and that will be all because of me and Erek. Not because of Grandma! Watch she'll try to take credit for it in some way when they are grown! Andrew and Nikolas are so bright and intelligent. I can't wait to start homeschooling them both. I'm still in the research and planning mode. That's just one more thing on my plate but oh it will be so worth it. Well I have major things to get done so that I can do it all. I'd bette get busy.