Saturday, August 29, 2009

Unmotivated

Why am I feeling so unmotivated these days? My house is suffering, my marriage is suffering, my children are suffereing and my dreams are suffering. I'm in good spirits during the day so I know this isn't a low with my bipolar. I do know I want to get everything done, but getting up and doing anything is a challenge for me the last few days. What gives?! I have so many goals and dreams I want to achieve. I want to finish my classes, have a beautiful home and be a great mother to my children and a great wife to my husband. They all deserve it so much, but here I sit each and every day on my ass doing not much of anything. How will my life ever amount to anything living this way? How will I leave a good memory for my children when I'm gone? How will I ever accomplish anything? I've been given so much in life. A wonderful man to love, 3 gorgous children, a beautiful house and what do I do?! I waste each and every day away. My children will only be young once! I want to be the kind of mom that my children know they can come to me when they have a problem, that think I'm a great mom because I take the time out of my day to make them feel special by reading a book to them or spending time with them, or taking them somewhere special. What do I do?! I sit on the computer all day in a cleaning chatroom and what am I doing?! Definately not cleaning as you can tell from my house. My husband deserves a wife who is and acts like she's in love with him. Who wants to be intimate with him. I want to get thru my college education and make a difference in the look of american homes! I can't do that if I keep not passing my classes! I don't know what it is going to take to get me out of this funk but I need to figure out something!

1 comment:

fihadforever said...

Hugs to you Nat! You work so hard. Will be praying for you and if there's anything I can do to help, online or over the phone, please let me know!!
Brenda